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“What the heck are you doing Mick?” says Paddy. “Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”He. Jo baat main Bharti se na kah paaya woh maa kitne sadharan roop se pooch gayi. Bharti bhi hairaan thi par sath hi uske chehre par hairani ke sath vaasna ki ek halki muskaan bhi thi.Bharti: Kya… main? Nahi nahi.Maa: Kya tumhe sachme mann nahi?Bharti: Mmm… par…Main nahi chahta tha ki iske beech main kuch bolu. Maa yaha tak baat pahuncha sakti thi to main chahta tha ki maa hi Bharti ko apne tareeke se manaye.Maa: Par kya? Bolo?Tabhi hum teeno ke armaano mein paani pherti hui Kavita aunty kamre ke andar se darwaaze ko khat khatati hui awaaz di: Saru! Bahar ho kya? Darwaza kholo!Maa had-badaati hui uth khadi hui aur sath hi Bharti bhi ghabraati hui apne kapde theek karne lagi.Maa mujhe dekh boli: Jao jaakar living mein baitho tum.Main poora chidta hua apne short ko wapas pehan kar bola: Uff… ye aunty thodi der aur nahi so sakti thi kya, had hai yaar.Maa hasti hui mere gaal par thap-thapati hui boli: Hahaha, bohut ho gaya maze tumhare, ab jao.Fir maa Bharti ko dekh boli: Beta tum jao,.
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